Criticism
My whole life, for as long as I can remember, I have loved the art of writing. I wrote stories when I was little, stories I honestly thought were great at the time, and that I was very proud of. I still remember when one of my 4th grade teachers used my short story as an example of how one should be written. He liked the level of descriptive details, he said. I was so proud, felt honored. Later that day, I overheard one of my best friends talking to some other girls in the locker room. "Her story wasn't even that good," she said, "I mean, look at mine, it has lots of details too! So stupid." She never said it to my face and she probably thought I would never find out, but I heard her, and it hurt my feelings. I never forgot what that teacher said though. Now, whenever I find myself doubting my writing skills, I think of him, and I think of what he said that day. He saw something in me. It was the first time that anybody complimented my writing, but also the first time that anyone ever trashed it. I experienced success and rejection on the very same day. My first success. My first rejection. I was 10 years old.
It is funny how things we say can mean so much to someone else, without us realizing. That teacher probably didn't think twice about complimenting my writing that day, and had he still been alive (which, unfortunately, he isn't), I doubt he would have remembered. I remember though, and I dare say that it was what made me want to continue writing. What made me want to be a writer. Sure, I remember my friend's less charming comment too, though I doubt she does, but I think it was something I needed to hear back then. It taught me that not everyone can like what I do, and with time I have come to learn that it is actually okay. It was a valuable lesson that I have carried with me since. My teacher and my friend inspired me that day when I was 10, in different ways, but both of equal importance.
Learning to take criticism is hard. When someone compliments my work - I don't know what to say (even though it makes me happy). When someone says something negative about it - I tend to think they're wrong. I used to, anyway. I took a writing class a couple of years ago, which really helped me develop a more critical eye when it comes to my own writing. We worked in groups where we read our groupmates' essays, short stories and such, and then we would comment on it, both on spelling mistakes and on the actual content. It was pretty scary. I didn't get any negative comments, but I did get a lot of suggestions for how I could improve my pieces. I must admit I was slightly offended at first, as horrible as it sounds, and a little discouraged as well. Then, however, I went through my stuff again, re-read it, and I made the discovery that these people were actually right. Their suggestions made sense. That was a huge eye-opener for me. I would recomment anyone who writes to sign up for a writing class, or to find at least one person who is willing to read and comment. The best thing - in my humble opinion - is to find someone we don't actually know. This makes it easier for them to give us an honest opinion (because come on, our moms are always going to love what we do), plus we don't have to worry about them hating what they read or judging us, because, quite frankly, we don't know them. It doesn't matter what they think of us and of our writing skills. ...Or does it? We can choose. Either we discard their opinion and move on, or we take it to heart - without being offended - and try to see if there is anything we can do about it.
I am not good with criticism - regardless of whether it is good or bad, and perhaps I never will be. I do hope though that I can continue to listen to people's opinions, take it to heart and improve. That is the only way that I can ever reach my goals. I want to publish a book before I am 30. ...There, I said it. I want to publish a book within the next 3 years, or at least to have a publisher interested by then. It might not be possible, and there is a chance that I might be aiming a bit too high, but I owe it to my 10 year old self to at least give it a fair try.